What happened to faith?!

Why can't my parents have more faith in me? Why would they think that I LIED to them when I obviously DID NOT? How could they doubt me of all people? How could they not understand their OWN daughter?


I'm just disappointed at the fact they doubted what I said and even go all the way to do some checkup on me in order to confirm my words. After all these years, have I ever done anything that need worrying? Have I ever LIED in such matters? Doesn't my clean record proves ANYTHING at all to you guys? Why DOUBT ME and even to the extent of FINDING EVIDENCE to back up my words! This is just too much!


I was really happy to share everything that happened in my life with them but what do i get in return? Just doubts and restrictions! I know the limits and I know very well what to do and what NOT to do.. I'm no longer the small little girl who doesn't get how dangerous the world may be. Please, all i ask for is a little bit faith in me. I know myself. I share because I care.. and because I love.


Now, don't blame me if grandma knows more about my life than you guys. It is simply because, I don't know whether I should tell you all every single detail of my life and get doubted again! Grandma trusted me and why can't you guys do the same?! Is it that hard?


After this, I'm sure that I would keep most of the things to myself whenever they are around. Not all things are meant to be shared anyway. Not anymore. Besides, all they care about would be "Am i still the top in the class? or Am i scoring As in my finals? or Am I still maintaining my scholarship?" This is the reason why I was upset when I gotten my SPM results in 2006... My mom definitely expected 10A1s from her bright daughter but I'm so sorry that I didn't get it...All I managed to get was 8A1s and 2A2s. I was so sad till i nearly cried in the hall till my friend's mom had to console me. At that time, I was sad that my results weren't as expected but I didn't know my mom will deliver the final blow.. I called her up to tell her my results and all she said was "Har? Why like that one? Why the result so BAD one?!" I did all my best and was waiting for her to console my aching heart...but instead she just breaks my heart. Well, that is in the past now.. I really should dispose this memory away.




The reason for me posting this up was because I was really sad and disappointed at their behaviour. Now that they have the proof that i'm not lying, i hope it would make them to trust me a little bit more in the future.....








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Btw, to a certain friend of mine in college.. I was really happy that you went through all the trouble to explain things out to me. I was happy that you care about my feelings and are afraid that I might get the wrong idea.. which in the end always get myself hurt for trivial stuffs. Others might think that it is just a small matter but you didn't...A little bit more words of assurance is what I seek in people close to me... You were always the one assuring me that everything is fine..Eventhough I did not show or tell anyone, but I am really grateful to you... You really are a true friend....Thanks for everything....